JT Stockroom

Monday, August 25, 2014

BDSM Safety: Restraints

Whenever people talk about entering into the BDSM lifestyle, they talk about safety.  Learn about safety.  I've said it; I've seen other people say it.  However, it doesn't do any good to tell people to learn about safety; they actually have to have resources.  To this end, I want to do a series of articles on playing safely.

I'll begin with the bondage part of BDSM.  Restraining/being restrained is a huge turn-on for a lot of people.  The look and feeling of helplessness, the loss of control, the struggle all contribute to an erotic experience for many people.  Statistically speaking around 40% of people will try at least light bondage, so it's important to get it right.

The most common and important concern with most restraints involves circulation.  It's easy with many restraints to cut off blood flow to the extremities.  Cutting off circulation can cause health issues, including blood clots, tissue death (in extreme cases with prolonged restraint), damage to nerves and blood vessels (from the restraint being too tight), and extreme pain when the restraint is removed.  Blood clots in the circulatory system could end up in the brain, which may cause a stroke.  Be mindful of discoloration of body parts, and if the restrained person says that the part is going numb, do not hesitate to loosen the restraint.

Here are some tips to avoid cutting off circulation:

Cover more surface area: Some leather and padded restraints already cover a decent amount of surface area, and make it less likely that a pressure point will cause damage.  The danger of making the restraint too tight is still there.  Make sure the person you are restraining relaxes, then make the restraint snug, not tight.  You are restraining, not using a tourniquet.  Covering more surface area will ensure that the restraint causes less discomfort and is more difficult to escape.  Escape can be dangerous, especially in suspensions.

With rope, wrapping several times will distribute pressure across a greater surface area, and it will support more weight without making the tie too tight.  It's also less likely to leave marks, although rope burn is still possible, depending on the type you use.  Nylon, cotton, and hemp ropes tend to leave fewer marks, especially if they're coated/treated.  There are ropes that are too rough to use, and some may even leave splinters in the flesh.  It's best to use thicker rope, as well; rope that is too thin is more likely to cause pressure points, and will certainly cover less surface area, unless you wrap several more times than you would with thicker rope.  Clothesline, for example, is really too thin.  It's usable, but you want something slightly thicker.  You also don't want to go too thick; thicker ropes are usually industrial-grade, anyway, and really should not be used for bondage due to low burn speed (the speed at which drawing the rope across skin will cause it to burn) and roughness.

Use the adjustment lock on handcuffs:  Handcuffs are commonly associated with bondage, and they're a quick and easy restraint to use.  However, there are two things to do when you use handcuffs: adjust them to the correct tightness, so they aren't too tight on the wrist, but adjusted enough that the hand can't slip through, and the things most people forget: the adjustment lock.  There could be another name for it; it's just what I call it.  There is a hole in the side of each cuff where part of the key (or a small metal rod) goes in to lock them in place.  If it's not used, the cuffs can become painfully tight and cut off circulation, as well as doing possible damage to tissue.  Even fur-lined cuffs, while reducing the possibility of marks, can be on too tight--and one pair I had covered the mechanism that locks them into place, making them more of a novelty than a quality piece of bondage equipment.

Handcuffs/leg cuffs should not be used to suspend anyone.

Wraps:  When using plastic wrap, bondage tape, or some other sort of wrap, make sure you're not pulling hard while you're wrapping.  If the wrap is indented relative to the unwrapped skin, it's in danger of being too tight.

Another concern: asphyxiation:

Wrapping rope around a person's neck carries great risk, and I do not recommend it unless you know what you're doing and you're not going to leave the restrained person unsupervised.  I mention it because I have seen posture collars made out of rope, which represents risk, but also because I've seen people play with nooses.  If you are going to play with a noose, do not do it from a height, as the force from the body falling even a short distance carries the risk of breaking the person's neck or drawing the noose too tight and crushing the larynx.  I'm going to stress it: ROPE AROUND THE NECK IS A VERY RISKY IDEA.  People are going to do what they want, but I'm going to voice my opinion that it's a terrible idea.

Leaving a gag in a person's mouth that restricts the airway should never be done if the person is going to be left unsupervised at all.  It only takes a few minutes to kill someone through asphyxiation.  If the nose becomes stuff due to allergies, irritants, or crying, the restrained person could asphyxiate.

Suspension by the arms for a long period of time can asphyxiate a person due to diaphragm exhaustion.  Crucifixion works this way as an execution method.

Immobilization through wrapping can restrict breathing if the wrap is over the mouth and nose.  Obviously, plastic and latex will block the airways completely, but a cloth wrap can also make it difficult to breathe.

Skin damage:

Constant rubbing against skin can make restraints cause damage, resulting in open wounds.  Open wounds pose the risk of infection.  Metal cuffs pose this risk on bare skin, as do rougher ropes and other restraints.  In the case of an open wound, wash the area with soap and water, then apply an antibiotic ointment and cover the wound with non-stick gauze using cloth tape. Adhesive bandages will work for smaller wounds, but be sure to clean the cut--and clean your restraints, especially if they can hold moisture.  Ones that can't are not going to carry bacteria for long; bacteria needs water activity to survive.  Ropes and padding can hold sweat and other fluids, so wash them after use.

Suspensions:

With suspensions, the more evenly the weight is distributed, the safer the restrained person will be.  Uneven and improper weight distribution can lead to tissue damage, both on the surface at the point of restraint, and possibly on joints and ligaments.

Security/durability:

Durability of restraints matters.  Restraints that break easily can be disastrous during play, either due to flailing limbs hitting you--along with part of the restraint, possibly, or, in the case of suspension, the possibility of hitting the floor hard.  The more secure and durable your restraints, the less likely you are to have accidents.  Do not skimp on hardware.




Sunday, August 17, 2014

If money were no object...

Recently, a member of the BDSM group I run with my slave asked what kind of weekend I would plan if money were no object.  For purposes of this...musing, I assumed that this meant that I could have anything I wanted at my disposal.

Oh, the possibilities!

If I had unlimited cash flow--or at least enough to buy any equipment I wanted--I would definitely buy a dungeon bed, a stand-up cage, a St. Andrew's Cross, every whip, crop, cane, and paddle I could find, lots of rope, lots of different restraints, suspension bars...I'd have everything that fit within my slave's hard limits and our shared kinks.  This shopping spree, of course, would lead to a great many possibilities that we could spread across many weekends, so I will go with what I'd want to do first.  At least, this is an example of what I might do first.  I might change my mind, if and when I have enough money to make it happen.

Forced sex fantasy is my slave's favorite scenario, so the first thing I would do is make sure we're child-free weekend while making her thing we're going somewhere special (that isn't a dungeon).  The kids would be gone, she'd be waiting for me to come home (I'd make some excuse to be out, like a consulting visit or a company meeting), and I would surprised her by coming in disguised, grabbing her, throwing a black hood over her head, and restraining her with handcuffs and leather ankle restraints.  I'd sling her over my shoulder, take her out to my car, driver her to the dungeon (it would be away from our home in this case), take her inside, and take the hood off so she could see all of the possibilities for her evening's torment.  Implements of torture would line the wall.  Ominous, menacing bondage furniture would be all over the dungeon.

Once she had a good look around, I'd carry my slave over to the area where I have two suspension bars that can be raised and lowered.  I'd attach her leather ankle restraints to the suspension bar, raise it so she is hanging upside down most of the way, then I'd uncuff her, put her wrists into the restraints attached to the other suspension bar, and I'd raise her so that her mouth, pussy, and ass were all easy to access.  I'd smack her pussy mercilessly, then, when it was clearly good and red, I'd shove my fingers inside of her, first two, then three, then four.  Four will make her pussy nice and sore, just how she loves to be fucked--and how I love to fuck her.  It hurts her so badly, but she loves it--and I love her intense reactions to the pain.  She is often close to tears, and sometimes, the tears come.

After making her pussy sore, I would grab a few implements--a single tail, a crop, a paddle.  I would use each in turn on her pussy, her ass, and her thighs.  I may even get a few hits on her tits, though that's almost certain to elicit a safe word.  All the while, I'd be talking to her as I do during the forced sex scenarios, telling her how I'm going to keep her, how she'll never see her family again, how it will be torment in every way I can imagine until the end of her days.  Sometimes, it gets so real for her that she will actually cry at the thought of never seeing another living person again, and the helplessness is written on her face.  What a turn-on...for both of us.

When I've marked her body to my satisfaction, I will shove my cock into that sore hole.  It will be difficult at first, because her labia will have swollen shut from the beating, and her wetness will be concealed...but she'certain to be soaked.  It leaks out, but it rarely coats her lips after pussy abuse.  Once inside, I will fuck her hard, grabbing her by the hair, using it as leverage to ram myself into her body, pacing myself it I get too close to cumming too soon, then fucking her as hard as I can so I can get that inevitable squirt from her.  My knife would be resting on her chest during this scene.  I forgot that little detail, but it's important.  I will grab it and hold it to her throat, watching the fear in her eyes, listen to her moans of pain and ecstasy, savoring her suffering.  I'd cum inside of her, then leave her suspended for a bit, allowing her to think about her situation while I recover and ready myself for another round.

I'd use her that first night till I fell asleep from exhaustion, but I would eventually take her down from the suspension bars and carry her to the dungeon bed.  The dungeon bed at Stockroom.com has all kinds of restraints and attachments to make for a night of fun.  I would attach her to the bed with a metal collar and chain, and I would put bondage gloves on her so she's be helpless throughout the night.  No hope of escape for my little captive.  I'd wake her up by laying her face-down on the bed and mounting her little ass, lubing it first, but fucking it hard as I held her head up by her hair and smacked her head.

Oh, that's right...that's a new thing.  My slave loves being smacked in the head.  Not hard enough to do any damage, but sort of a "You stupid fucking whore" sort of slap.  It's degrading and demeaning, and she enjoys the fuck out of it.  She gets so incredibly wet.  She hated getting smacked in the face (or at least, she didn't enjoy it much), but in the head?  Total turn-on.

After I used her ass, I would put plastic over the bondage gloves, seal them with tape, unhook the collar, then take her to the shower I would have installed in the corner of the dungeon.  It would be close to a heat source so she wouldn't get cold (cold is a hard limit; I would have the dungeon at a comfortable temperature).  I would wash myself as she watched, then I would scrub her body clean.  Once we were clean, I would take her to where I left the knife, make her kneel, then put the blade to the back of her neck and threaten to shove it in if she didn't take my cock in her throat.  I would use her mouth hard, shoving her down on it, making it difficult for her to breathe.  I would have to decide whether to degrade her further by cumming on her face (she loves that--no kidding) or cumming down her throat, but after I resolved that little dilemma, it would be time for her to eat.

For her breakfast--probably lunch at that point, I would force her to eat from a dog dish.  It would be food fit for human consumption, but she would have to be on her hands and knees and bow her head to eat it.  I would allow her to drink from a cup, but I really love watching her eat on her hands and knees.  I've had her eat cheesecake off a dish this way, and it's definitely hot.  I would cut up some meat for her or have her eat a salad.  Something.  But she would be eating like something less than a human.

With her belly full, it would be time for her to get into a cage and rest a bit.  I would have a pet bed inside of a cage where she couldn't stand up, but she could curl up and lay comfortably.  I'd put a blanket over her and let her sleep if she wanted...but not for long.  I would open the cage door, drag her out by her ankles, move to her head, grab her by the hair, make her stand up, and I'd guide her to the St. Andrew's cross.  I would bind her wrists and ankles to it, and I'd give her a good whipping with the cat o' nine tails.  I'd turn her around after and paddle her ass till it looked like it would bruise nicely.  She loves the severe spankings and paddlings, and with no one to hear her cry out, I could give her everything I have.  I have spanked her as hard as I could for as long as I could before, and I don't recall her saying her safe word that night.

Keeping her on the cross, I would get the shrink wrap and wrap it around her head, leaving only her mouth exposed.  I would then rip off a smaller piece to fit over that mouth, and I would cover it, letting her panic.  Watching her struggle helplessly on that cross would make me rock-hard, and I know it would get her juices flowing.  I would take the plastic off to let her breathe, talk dirty to her, demean her, caress her sore, vulnerable body, then cover her mouth again.  I would repeat this till I no longer wanted to wait to fuck her.  I would take her down...and I would leave her unrestrained this time.  If there was any fight left in her, I would savor her struggles, but I doubt at this point that she would be fighting much.  Then again, she has surprised me before, and that's always the best--when she struggles against me, even when it's most futile.  I'd leave her unrestrained and drag her over to the bed, forcing myself into that pussy that is sure to be sore still, and fuck her like a demon would, if demons existed.

I'd shower her again, then put her away in the stand-up cage.  I'd go and rest.  She would be unlikely to get rest.  I would come back and use vampire gloves on her bare skin, giving her a full-body massage with those tiny needles.  I miss my pair of vampire gloves, and I'd be sure to get a much better pair this time around.  She loved having her labia pricked with them, especially.  After I was satisfied with the massage, I would take her out, use her again however I chose at that point, then I would eat my dinner off her.  I would lay her flat on a table, restrain her, and use her flat belly as my plate, prodding her with my fork, menacing her with my knife.  When I finished, I would clean her off, then I would force her to eat on her hands and knees again, from a plate at my feet.

At this point, with one night and a day left, I would would do aftercare.  I would take her out of her restraints, hold her, caress her, tell her she's my precious treasure, tell her how much I love her and care for her.  Tell her that there's no one else I'd rather have, that I'm happy with her and want to grow old with her in my service.  We'd sleep in each other's arms that night.

The next day, I would let her choose what she wanted to have done to her.  She could choose any toy, any restraint, and I'd incorporate it into play.  We've done something similar with our current toy collection, but there'd be a broader range of toys from which to choose, there'd be furniture we don't have, restraints we don't have.  One thing I'd like to have her do is ride a sybian while I talk dirty to her and whip her.  She would be restrained and could not move off of it.  I would control its speed.  I am not sure she would cum on the third day from that--her pussy might be too sore to cum from anything but fucking (her clit gets so sensitive and her pussy so sore that the pain makes it impossible to bring her to orgasm through digital stimulation), but the sybian might be exquisite torment for her, and that would be fun to watch.


So many more possibilities to consider in this scenario, but this is a start.