BDSM Safety: Restraints

Whenever people talk about entering into the BDSM lifestyle, they talk about safety.  Learn about safety.  I've said it; I've seen other people say it.  However, it doesn't do any good to tell people to learn about safety; they actually have to have resources.  To this end, I want to do a series of articles on playing safely.

I'll begin with the bondage part of BDSM.  Restraining/being restrained is a huge turn-on for a lot of people.  The look and feeling of helplessness, the loss of control, the struggle all contribute to an erotic experience for many people.  Statistically speaking around 40% of people will try at least light bondage, so it's important to get it right.

The most common and important concern with most restraints involves circulation.  It's easy with many restraints to cut off blood flow to the extremities.  Cutting off circulation can cause health issues, including blood clots, tissue death (in extreme cases with prolonged restraint), damage to nerves and blood vessels (from the restraint being too tight), and extreme pain when the restraint is removed.  Blood clots in the circulatory system could end up in the brain, which may cause a stroke.  Be mindful of discoloration of body parts, and if the restrained person says that the part is going numb, do not hesitate to loosen the restraint.

Here are some tips to avoid cutting off circulation:

Cover more surface area: Some leather and padded restraints already cover a decent amount of surface area, and make it less likely that a pressure point will cause damage.  The danger of making the restraint too tight is still there.  Make sure the person you are restraining relaxes, then make the restraint snug, not tight.  You are restraining, not using a tourniquet.  Covering more surface area will ensure that the restraint causes less discomfort and is more difficult to escape.  Escape can be dangerous, especially in suspensions.

With rope, wrapping several times will distribute pressure across a greater surface area, and it will support more weight without making the tie too tight.  It's also less likely to leave marks, although rope burn is still possible, depending on the type you use.  Nylon, cotton, and hemp ropes tend to leave fewer marks, especially if they're coated/treated.  There are ropes that are too rough to use, and some may even leave splinters in the flesh.  It's best to use thicker rope, as well; rope that is too thin is more likely to cause pressure points, and will certainly cover less surface area, unless you wrap several more times than you would with thicker rope.  Clothesline, for example, is really too thin.  It's usable, but you want something slightly thicker.  You also don't want to go too thick; thicker ropes are usually industrial-grade, anyway, and really should not be used for bondage due to low burn speed (the speed at which drawing the rope across skin will cause it to burn) and roughness.

Use the adjustment lock on handcuffs:  Handcuffs are commonly associated with bondage, and they're a quick and easy restraint to use.  However, there are two things to do when you use handcuffs: adjust them to the correct tightness, so they aren't too tight on the wrist, but adjusted enough that the hand can't slip through, and the things most people forget: the adjustment lock.  There could be another name for it; it's just what I call it.  There is a hole in the side of each cuff where part of the key (or a small metal rod) goes in to lock them in place.  If it's not used, the cuffs can become painfully tight and cut off circulation, as well as doing possible damage to tissue.  Even fur-lined cuffs, while reducing the possibility of marks, can be on too tight--and one pair I had covered the mechanism that locks them into place, making them more of a novelty than a quality piece of bondage equipment.

Handcuffs/leg cuffs should not be used to suspend anyone.

Wraps:  When using plastic wrap, bondage tape, or some other sort of wrap, make sure you're not pulling hard while you're wrapping.  If the wrap is indented relative to the unwrapped skin, it's in danger of being too tight.

Another concern: asphyxiation:

Wrapping rope around a person's neck carries great risk, and I do not recommend it unless you know what you're doing and you're not going to leave the restrained person unsupervised.  I mention it because I have seen posture collars made out of rope, which represents risk, but also because I've seen people play with nooses.  If you are going to play with a noose, do not do it from a height, as the force from the body falling even a short distance carries the risk of breaking the person's neck or drawing the noose too tight and crushing the larynx.  I'm going to stress it: ROPE AROUND THE NECK IS A VERY RISKY IDEA.  People are going to do what they want, but I'm going to voice my opinion that it's a terrible idea.

Leaving a gag in a person's mouth that restricts the airway should never be done if the person is going to be left unsupervised at all.  It only takes a few minutes to kill someone through asphyxiation.  If the nose becomes stuff due to allergies, irritants, or crying, the restrained person could asphyxiate.

Suspension by the arms for a long period of time can asphyxiate a person due to diaphragm exhaustion.  Crucifixion works this way as an execution method.

Immobilization through wrapping can restrict breathing if the wrap is over the mouth and nose.  Obviously, plastic and latex will block the airways completely, but a cloth wrap can also make it difficult to breathe.

Skin damage:

Constant rubbing against skin can make restraints cause damage, resulting in open wounds.  Open wounds pose the risk of infection.  Metal cuffs pose this risk on bare skin, as do rougher ropes and other restraints.  In the case of an open wound, wash the area with soap and water, then apply an antibiotic ointment and cover the wound with non-stick gauze using cloth tape. Adhesive bandages will work for smaller wounds, but be sure to clean the cut--and clean your restraints, especially if they can hold moisture.  Ones that can't are not going to carry bacteria for long; bacteria needs water activity to survive.  Ropes and padding can hold sweat and other fluids, so wash them after use.

Suspensions:

With suspensions, the more evenly the weight is distributed, the safer the restrained person will be.  Uneven and improper weight distribution can lead to tissue damage, both on the surface at the point of restraint, and possibly on joints and ligaments.

Security/durability:

Durability of restraints matters.  Restraints that break easily can be disastrous during play, either due to flailing limbs hitting you--along with part of the restraint, possibly, or, in the case of suspension, the possibility of hitting the floor hard.  The more secure and durable your restraints, the less likely you are to have accidents.  Do not skimp on hardware.