You'll notice when I post, I'm pretty careful to say "should" when I give my views on how to play. My way might not be your way, and that's valid, as long as you remain safe and sane, and your partner(s) consent. I am only giving advice and views from my experience. There are some objective points about which I may be adamant, but I don't think forcing the way I live my BDSM lifestyle onto other people is valid. Take everything as a suggestion, not a rule. Rules are for my slave; she's the only one who has to follow the rules I've set down for her.
Having said what I've said so far, here is the first reason why I find Goreans annoying:
- They like to push their lifestyle on people who know nothing about it and don't care to play the way they do. I have learned more about Gor and Gorean life than I ever cared to know. Most of it came through Yahoo chat years ago. I even talked with and met a Gorean, but she hid from me that she wanted that lifestyle, and lied to me about plenty of other things. That interaction has little to do with why I hate Goreans; the point is that I learned a lot about it from her and interactions with people in chat rooms we frequented. In any case, the Gorean "Masters" (I will get to why I put that title in quotes in a bit) expect submission from all females who declare themselves submissive, whether they agree to it or not. To me, submission is something a dominant earns by seducing a person into it; it's not automatic, and my submissive should not have to submit to anyone else but me. If you're expecting submission from my slave, you're going to have a bad time.
- The "Masters" think they deserve the title by virtue of their penises. There are apparently dominant female Goreans and submissive Gorean men, but I've never met a single one of either, and my understanding of the sci-fi is that it's highly patriarchal. In any case, the reason I put quotes around "Masters" when referring to them is that the majority are attracted to Gor simply because it's patriarchal, and they don't think they have to do any work to get a slave. I have seen Goreans play-fighting each other in chat, using things that don't exist...which is great for fiction, but how do you live that lifestyle? You can't.
- The slaves (kajira) have to bring all of the creativity. In all of the interactions I've had with Goreans, I've only ever seen the women create elaborate scenarios...although that's actually rare. Most of the time, they're talking about dancing in costume for one "Master" or another. My understanding is that there are different levels of slaves, but "kajira" is the one I hear the most. I don't really care. I do think it's odd and shameful that the men don't have to do anything (seemingly), given the effort that domination takes when living the lifestyle for real. And that brings me to the next point:
- Most Goreans I've met only live their lifestyles online. Yes, it's fantasy based on fiction, but if you're going to say you live a Gorean lifestyle, you have to come to reality at some point. All of the fantasy I've seen played out in chat simply couldn't happen in the real world. Of course, it's true of a lot of other fantasy I've seen online, but most of the other people who are unrealistic don't push their fiction onto others as the "true" way.
- Goreans expect people to know their protocol. I got to the point where if I read "Tal" again in chat, I was going to scream. Not really. It was just annoying at a certain point, but I learned to ignore the people who used that greeting. There were other bits of protocol they used in talking and interacting with each other they expected me to know, and I had to explain ad nauseum that their fantasies were their own, and not everyone cares to live the way they do.
- The Gorean lifestyle is too much like a religion for my taste. Goreans aren't the only ones guilty of it, but they stand out as cult-like, and I want no part in arbitrary, pre-written rules that are pushed as the "true" way people are supposed to live. I think rules should be negotiated between Master and slave, Dominant and submissive, Sadist and masochist, switch and partner. I don't like cookie-cutter approaches to relationships, because relationships aren't one-size-fits-all--especially cult-like cookie cutters.
I'm sure I could come up with other points, but those are the ones that stand out in my memory. I have steered clear of Goreans for several years now, and I have no plans in involving myself in their interactions again.
No comments:
Post a Comment